Perfidious Albert

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Least Frequently Asked Questions

It is the nature of a FAQ that the questions in the FAQ are actually the least frequently asked. This is because if you read a question on a frequently asked question page then you know the answer, so you are unlikely to ever ask the question.

Who is Perfidious Albert?

In nineteen seventy something, a crack software developer was born in a maternity hospital to a mother that deserved better. This man promptly questioned everything by constantly asking “why?”, and even more annoyingly “why not?”. Today, not wanted by any employers, he survives as a freelance e-commerce expert and software consultant. If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find him. Maybe you can hire, Perfidious Albert.

What does perfidious mean? Isn't that bad?

It means untrustworthy. It’s the name of the crow. We had a logo before a name, and we called him Albert. At around that time Brexit was happening and every time we turned on Newstalk they were talking about Perfidious Albion. Two and two became five and before you know it, we were sitting at boardroom tables explaining how we could be trusted despite the company name meaning untrustworthy.

But why a crow? Aren't they bad?

We have long been a fan of crows. They are the ultimate problem solvers. They are tenacious and they stick with it through the hard times of winter instead of running off to Africa (or flying off to Africa). They are loyal and intelligent. They can be cranky but treat them well and they will leave you gifts and be your friend. What’s not to like?

Why should I use Perfidious Albert?

If you like an easy life, you probably shouldn’t. We are disagreeable and hard to work with. We hate taking shortcuts. Our moral values tend to favour the little guy. We don’t compromise easily. We will challenge you. We will challenge your ideas. We will challenge your knowledge.

Will I be on top of Google?

SEO is a skilled job that takes time and dedication. Perfidious Albert is dedicated, but not to SEO so much.

However, and this is important - SEO is very much subject to the 80:20 rule. 80% of good SEO comes from 20% of the work and it just so happens that the same work is also required for good e-commerce conversion rates and profitability. So even though we don't do the last 20% you might not need it depending on how competitive your industry is. Save your money for now is what we are saying!

Will I be able to update my own website?

Yes - we don't keep control of anything and Shopify is very easy to work on. If you ever need to work on your own website it will be easy and intuitive.

Is Shopify Expensive?

No. The total cost of ownership of Majento and WooCommerce (hosting, support, merchant fees, updates, lost sales, downtime) make them 20% more expensive than Shopify according to independent research. .

Do you outsource abroad?

No. We rarely outsource work at all. If we do it will be to a reliable partner based locally and only with your consent.

Do you do brochure (non-e-commerce) websites?

Yes - through our sister company Silent Salesman.

Thinking Outside the Box

I disinterestedly advised a colleague once to "think outside the box" after he shared a problem with me. His reply was "ah go and shite". I queried this slightly disrespectful tone with him and he had the following defence to offer.

"The answer is always inside the box."

In the years since I have come to realise that the man was and still is a genius. He was also correct. The answer is never outside the box. Inside the box is education, experience, and intuition. Outside the box is uncharted territory, half baked ideas, and inexperienced fools that know no better.

Or, there is another theory that there is no box. Either way thinking outside the box is a meaningless concept that Perfidious Albert dislikes intensely. So if you want inside the box thinking that is proven, fast, economical, and efficient - then contact us.

Book a Free Consultation

An initial free consultation to discuss your e-commerce business, take a quick look at your tech stack, and for us to show you some sample reports and our analytics dashboard.

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  • Address

    Perfidious Albert Limited
    51 Bracken Road
    Sandyford, D18 CV48
    Dublin, Ireland

  • WhatsApp / Phone

    +353 1 554 72 00

  • Email

    hello@perfidiousalbert.com

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